I know originally I thought I would only post on Fridays after I did my weight ins, but I also think its important to write when I have the inspiration or an idea. So, yes, I will write on Fridays at the time of my main weigh ins and measurements, but you can also expect some sprinkles throughout the week (now I want a cupcake).
I started thinking long and hard about what the theme, purpose, tone of this blog would be. Why am I writing it? Is it just to put a bunch of words on a page so that I feel better after? If it is, then I should just get a journal. No, there has to be a some sort of common thread, at least a common thread to me. So here it is, and stay with me here…. Just as in a musical the main characters and ensemble will sing when words and talking just don’t seem to be enough. They sing in times of good, in times of bad, in times of revelations, etc. That is what this blog will be for me. This is my “Weight Loss Musical.”
My first post was when the heroine of this musical finally had it. The musical opened on a dark stage with a spotlight on a sad girl who felt like she was at her wits end. She could take no more of that gross feeling in the pit of her stomach when she had failed herself. She sang her heart out, and the response of the audience was tremendous. I received text messages, phone calls, private messages, comments- all good. I heard words of encouragement, comments of feeling the same, of bravery, and everything in between. End Scene. Cue the tears.
Scene Two: Our heroine got to work.
OK lets put aside the obvious parts of the weight loss- food and exercise. I have a pretty good handle thus far on the exercise portion, and I believe I know what foods are good and what foods are bad. What I think is the most important factor right now is the mental aspect of this fight. I am an emotional eater. I eat in times of sadness, happiness, celebration, boredom, stress, etc. I also know that when I am stressed my body tends to hold on to whatever it can- causing me to gain weight. You’d think that being an emotional eater my entire life my body would know after 35 years that I am not going to let it down and not eat. I always turn to comfort food. Making my Nonno’s gravy is my stress relief.
A friend from my childhood reached out last Friday immediately after I posted on Facebook with my first blog post. This was someone my entire childhood I had looked up to (You could just mention these last two lines to my Mom and she will immediately know who I am talking about). She invited me to join a group/program that would help me with this mental aspect- along with other parts of wellness. I’m not going to drop any names because this isn’t a paid ad and I don’t know if it will be successful for me yet (but if they want to pay me they know how to get in touch with me, haha). I decided to do it because I made a pubic promise to myself to better myself. From the outside it doesn’t look like there are any gimmicks or catches to this program- so why not. If a program has the tools to help me change my mindset, to help me mentally figure out my relationship with food and how it makes me feel- why not? So I took the first step… Cue the musical, this heroine has had a revelation.
This feeling of self accomplishment was quickly replaced by that growing “gross” feeling when I took photos so that I could document the physical changes. In the words of Salvadore from the movie “Couple’s Retreat”- ENCOURAGEMENT!
Song of the Day: Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley ft. Alison Krause
The rumors flew
But nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years
She tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away
A little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough
To get him off her mind
Until the night..