Category: travel

The Hangover

.Reading time 10 minutes.

I’ve been sitting here for a couple minutes trying to figure out a clever way to start this week’s post. I scanned the Googles for some smart quotes. I racked the ol’ iceberg in my brain for something witty. Nope. At the end of the day, like the picture above shows, this week has been brutal. I read stories about post-Whole30 experiences, but I didn’t really think it would happen to me. Let me set the scene for you…

I woke up last Thursday excited for our trip to NOLA. With everything Kevin and I have had going on the last couple of weeks, with our move and wedding planning, I was excited to finally have a weekend of fun with just the two of us. No senior citizen dogs waking us up any time between 4am-6am. No parents up late asking us to do X, Y, and/or Z. Oh, did I not mention to you that Kevin and I have been living with my parents while we wait for our new home to be ready? Yep. God bless his heart. Kevin has been really patient during this process. We are practically living on top of each other, but we both know we are lucky to have a place to stay while we wait for our new coastal escape to be ready. So, yeah, this vacation was very much anticipated.

Anyways, back to Thursday. I was not kidding last week when I mentioned that I may have a dirty martini at 6am at the airport. I really gave it a once over in my head. Deciding against it, I still ate a “Whole30 Compliant Breakfast.” I was about to get on a plane, in a middle seat, for about 5 hours. After reading the horror stories of post-Whole30 lives, I figured 7 more hours wouldn’t kill me. Once we were on the plane, I had 1 Bloody Mary and lots of water. I am just as surprised as you are. I was pretty much on a flying bar for 5 hours and thats all I consumed. I am such an adult. Metaphorical pat on the back.

It all went downhill from there. First meal in NOLA, I went with seafood. Even though it was not described that way on the menu, it was all fried on a bed of, no not lettuce, french fries. That was the moment I realized that this was going to be harder than had I originally thought. My initial NOLA Attack Plan was to eat seafood and partake in some non-sugary adult beverages after I got a lot of water into this body of mine. NOLA ripped up my NOLA Attack Plan and threw it out the window and screamed, “OH, ITS ON!”

No matter where I tried to hide or what choice I tried to make, NOLA had other plans. It went a little something like this: “Excuse me barkeep, can I have a Cucumber Cooler?” Sugar explosion. “Excuse me sir, can I have this champagne cocktail?” Sugar explosion. “Oh you say there is NO line for beignets at Cafe Du Monde? I’ll take two.” Powdered sugar explosion. I tried to out run the sugar apocalypse like I was on The Walking Dead . It didn’t matter where I ran or what corners I took. It always found me. By the time we got to dinner, all I ate was a salad and oysters because I was tired of running. Cut to the waitress walking up to our table, post dinner, with a free dessert. I give up. ::white flag waving in the air::.

The next day I felt like a 4×4 had run me over. Yes, I admit, I am one of those people that gets a hangover from one sip of wine, while Kevin drinks an entire bottle and gets up the next day chipper and ready for an impromptu tennis match. At those moments, I dislike him very much. Yet this hangover was unlike any I have ever experienced before. Most of the time some Taco Bell, a nap, and a shower usually cures the worst of it. Not this time. I politely asked Kevin if he would leave the hotel room for an hour, I had some work to do. After some alone time that I am not proud of, at least the nausea was gone. Then all I was left with was the tiredness, anxiety, and out of body experiences.

The rest of the trip I felt like I had the flu. My entire body was in a weird place. I was constantly in a fog, no matter how much sleep I got or water I took in. It felt weird to walk, but then I would get tired of sitting. I was in bad shape. Once I was home and back in the land of No Fried Foods and Sugar Explosions, I gladly jumped back into my next phase of Whole30 without even giving it a second thought. I am on Day 5, and today is the first day I didn’t wakeup with a splitting headache.

Word to the wise, if you are going to give the Whole30 a try, don’t jump into the non-compliant foods head first with a NOLA grenade in your hand, or expect to reap the consequences. Your body will metaphorically feel like its been ripped apart.

This week got me thinking about this entire fight you’ve taken on with me as my coach in the corner. I’d like to sum these thoughts up with a parallel between this experience and the longest running medical show ever, Grey’s Anatomy.. As the last person on this earth that still watches Grey’s Anatomy, there was something that really resonated with me on last weeks episode. It was all about Amelia Sheppard, and her relationship with her family. At least those that are still alive, because everyone that works at that hospital is cursed. If you don’t know anything about her character, and I am going to guess 100% of you don’t, she had a troubled past. She was always trying to live up to expectations of her family full of brainiac doctors, including her brother Derek Shepard (McDreamy, for those old school watchers), and she felt that pressure. She was a drug addict in her teenage years, and constantly screwing up from there even after she got clean and sober. At the dramatic ending to the show, she sat with her mother on a park bench in, what I can only imagine was, Central Park. Her mother explained to her why she was special. All her sisters and brothers strived to do was be perfect every day, but she was the only one that didn’t care about failing. She always got right back up, grabbed life by the balls, and tried again. I can relate to that. As you can tell from the last 8 months, I have failed, but I will always get back up, grab this fight by the balls, and try again.

*A couple notes: First, the picture above is a one that I sent to my Tribe post-hour alone while in our hotel room in NOLA. I did not feel pretty. Second, there will be no weight and measurements until I am done with my personal Whole21. I want to do it right and really see how my body and my mind feel without the constant check in.

See you on the other side…

Song of the Day: “Out of the Woods” by Taylor Swift

Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet?
Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods?
Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet?
Are we in the clear yet? In the clear yet, good

Beauty Sleep

.Reading time 6 minutes.

For many, many years I have had a lot of trouble falling asleep. Not sleeping, just falling asleep. Once I’m asleep, its all good. Even if I get up in the middle of the night to visit the “Little Lawyer’s Room” or to help my elderly pup use the “Little Weenie’s Room” I have no trouble falling back asleep. Its that first hour or two that I will toss and turn. My brain runs at a million miles per minute, which can be expected with my day-to-day routine and career. The hamster in my head, as I picture, is running on her wheel, doing her taxes, redesigning her kitchen, and planning her quinceanera all at the same time. I need help.

I’ve tried everything under the sun to get myself to fall asleep in a reasonable amount of time excluding any prescriptions. I come from a long line of addicts who have struggled with various addictions so I have made a life commitment to try and stay away from any controlled substance that was not medically necessary.  What methods have I tried, you ask?  Let me count the ways…

I started with keeping the room dark for the last hour before I went to bed so my body could go through the cycle of producing melatonin to help me fall asleep. Fail.

I started taking melatonin supplements. At first it helped a little, but then it started to wear off no matter how much I upped the dosage.

Alcoholism wasn’t an option.

Then I turned to  turning off all “blue screened” electronics about 30 minutes to 1 hr before going to sleep. Nope.

The one thing that did help was Sleepy Time Weed, as it was known around my house. Don’t worry I only started this when medical marijuana was legalized in California, so don’t get your panties in a bunch. Also, my Grandpa knew about it, so it can’t be that bad, right? I’d meet my “dealer” (AKA the very nice guys from a delivery service) outside and exchange my cash money for something in a brown paper bag. No, I wasn’t rolling joints or doing anything cool like the kids did when I was in high school. Instead I vaped it. No pomp and circumstance here. This seemed to be a good method for getting sleep, but here’s the tricky part- although it worked for me when I was home or in the bounds of California, we also travel a lot. This put the lawyer into a very legal predicament. Do I take the chance and travel with it breaking all sorts of federal laws? I am too cute for prison. So instead when I traveled, and I know this is breaking one of my rules I stated above, I’d pop a Xanax. This was a solution, although not a good and viable solution. As you can see, I hit rock bottom and needed something healthier than smoking and dropping Xanies.

Thats when my weight loss doctor introduced me to NeuroScience Kavinace Ultra PM, a dietary supplement. Ready for some copied and pasted nerd talk? I’ve tried to explain as well as I can without a PHd. Here goes nothing… This magical supplement includes the GABA derivative, 4 amino-3-phenylbutyric acid, which easily crosses the blood-brain barrier and acts as a GABAb agonist (a substance which initiates a physiological response when combined with a receptor). GABA is the body’s main inhibitory neurotransmitter in the brain, meaning it slows down the brain or a reaction. It also contains 5-HTP to support serotonin production, a precursor to melatonin. Serotonin is one of the most important brain chemicals for regulating the sleep/wake cycles. Last, it also contains good ol’ melatonin to help regulate the sleep-wake cycle and promoting restful sleep. So, in a nutshell, this is like your grocery store bought melatonin supplement on steroids, which also takes care of what your body needs to do and produce before it can even effectively get to the melatonin stage.

I guess you can already guess what I am obsessing over this week- Neuroscience Kavinace Ultra PM. I have slept better than I have in a long, long time. I’ve been weed free since Thanksgiving 2018 and sleeping soundly. I take the supplement about an hour before I go to bed and wake up in the morning with no residue effect. It doesn’t “knock me out” so I am still able to hear when Audrey, my senior citizen dog, needs to powder her nose.

In addition to taking Kavinace Ultra PM, I also try to stay away from all electronics an hour before I go to bed. I have found that reading a good book helps to get my “sleepy process” started. Right now I am almost finished with “The Witch Elm” by Tanya French. Nothing like a good murder mystery to lullaby you into a great nights sleep, but it works for me!

A Week in My Life

.Reading time 14 minutes.

Before the holidays I touched base in some things going on in my life that have precluded me from being able to hit my goals and, instead, stay stagnant. The main reason being stress, and not just emotional stress, but also physical stress and environmental stress. All 3 of these together, I have come to learn, are a dealbreaker in weight loss.

With all of that in mind, I wanted to give you some insight into what my typical week looks like by taking a look at the last week of my life. Just in case you are sitting at home reading week after week and thinking “Self, this girl isn’t working hard enough. Cleary she is eating pie and Taco Bell every week while sitting on the couch with her 2 adorable dachshunds and her handsome as hell fiancé.” Rest assure, I am not. I wish I was, but I am not. But you are right, he is super handsome and my pups are freakin’ adorable.

This last week has been a pretty typical food and workout week. I worked out a ton (despite two days in a row forgetting to bring my shoes or sports bra to the gym) and I ate pretty standard. What you will notice is that I am not a HUGE snacker (::she says while she is snacking on Bubba’s Fine Foods Grand Garlic Parm ‘Nana Chips::). Key word is HUGE. I normally don’t, but as we all know there is an exception to every rule. Or is that just an attorney saying? Anyways, I will let you be the judge.

Please not that everyday I drink AT LEAST 90OZ of water. I always start my day with AT LEAST 16OZ of water before I put anything else in my body. OK, lets get to it…

Friday, January 4th:

  • Breakfast around 8:30AM: RX Bar (honestly I can’t remember which one because I have a variety pack).
  • Lunch around 12PM: Poke Bowl with half sushi rice and half mixed greens. Bowl included salmon, jalapeno, seaweed salad, avocado, cucumber, ponzu sauce, and some fried garlic sprinkles.
  • Dinner around 7PM: Chicken breast w/ a pesto sauce and roasted potatoes and tomatoes w/ parm cheese sprinkles. This was homemade, B-T-Dubbs.
  • Exercise: 60MIN OrangeTheory Class

Saturday, January 5th:

  • Breakfast around 11:45AM: I tried to skip since I had a late morning workout and tend to cramp easily, but after my workout I was famished. So I had a small breakfast sandwich from Starbucks w/ an unsweetened ice team. I was still hungry after, which reminds me of why I don’t eat that crap. Empty calories.
  • Lunch around 2:30PM: Now you see why I ate the breakfast sando. I had appointments all day and knew I wasn’t going to get a homemade lunch until late. For lunch I made (overnight) chicken tortilla soup. I added about 1/2 a cup of rice, 2 tablespoons of grated cheddar cheese, and about 7 tortilla chips.
  • Dinner around 7PM: Old school taco night. It was a rainy day and wanted some comfort food. Got some ground beef and some crunchy shells and made dinner in record time! My tacos included, besides the above, lettuce, cheddar cheese, and TB taco sauce (that was as close as I was going to get to actual Taco Bell). I also made a side of black beans and some fresh guacamole. For my guac, I have the world’s best recipe that is mostly just avocado, jalapeno, and lime- and my secret seasoning combo.
  • Exercise: 60MIN OrangeTheory Class

Sunday, January 6th:

  • Breakfast around 8AM: RX Bar, again.
  • Lunch around 1PM: Stopped at Sam’s Chowder House while we were on the coast. I had a Lobster Roll (“naked”) and a salad on the side. They are famous for their Lobster Rolls, even having a dedicated food truck that goes around the Bay Area, and I live by the motto that I want to be able to live a life that doesn’t deprive me of all that is good. So every now and then I throw myself a treat- in moderation, of course.
  • Dinner around 7PM: Steak salad w/ shishito peppers and a cilantro lime dressing (homemade). I was clearly in a Mexican mood this weekend. Haha.
  • Exercise: As God did on the 7th day of the week, I rest.

Monday, January 7th:

  • Breakfast around 8:30AM: RX Bar.
  • Lunch around 12PM: Brought back the delicious chicken tortilla soup. I added about 1/2 a cup of brown rice, 2 tablespoons of grated cheddar. cheese, and about 7 tortilla chips/crumbs (soup is a good way to get rid of the bottom of tortilla chip bags). I also stole an egg roll from my Dad.
  • Dinner around 7PM: Chicken Thighs with an apple-dijon sauce, roasted brussels sprouts, sweet potatoes, and spinach (homemade).
  • Exercise: 60MIN OrangeTheory Class

Tuesday, January 8th:

  • Breakfast around 8:30AM: Breakfast burrito… psyche! Just wanted to make sure you were paying attention. Clearly it was an RX Bar.
  • Lunch around 12PM: Last serving of my delicious chicken tortilla soup. I added about 1/2 a cup of brown rice, 2 tablespoons of grated cheddar, a couple last crumbs of tortilla chips.
  • Dinner around 7PM: Chickpea pasta (Brand Banza) w/ a homemade beef and pork ragu. If you haven’t tried the chickpea pasta, run, don’t walk, and buy some. They are at almost every store in the Bay Area. They don’t only taste delicious BUT they also are packed with 25G of protein and 13G of fiber. SAY WHAT!?!? Heck ya.
  •  Exercise: 60MIN OrangeTheory Class

Wednesday, January 9th:

  • Breakfast around 8:30AM: Tried out a new protein shake that has over 40G of protein. It was okay. I read that someone with stress issues should have at least 35G of protein in their AM, so I am searching for a great protein shake. Please send suggestions.
  • Lunch around 12PM: Chicken pita w/ tomatoes, feta cheese, onion, and (my fave)  tzatziki sauce and squeeze of lemon (homemade).
  • Dinner around 6:30PM: Trout w/ a salsa and potatoes. Light, with a kick!
  • Snack: Cherry Chocolate Protein Bar (I was in the mood for sweets).
  • Exercise: 50Min Run/Walk- almost 4 miles.
  • Weigh In: 159.6LBs. I have a golden rule to not weigh myself after a long trip for at least a week. This was my first weigh in for 2019.

Thursday, January 10th:

  • Breakfast around 8:30AM: RX Bar (getting sick of this yet? Well until I find a good protein shake you are stuck with this!).
  • Lunch around 12PM: Spicy Chicken salad with tomato, corn, black beans, avocado and herb vinaigrette. The chicken is breaded, but there is not much. This was because of a board meeting that I actually ate out. I also had two pickles. They are delicious. Here is where I blow it, a piece of cheesecake for a work birthday BUUUUUT it was MAYBE the size of a business card. I did not completely indulge.
  • Dinner around 7PM: Lemon and Herb Butter Chicken w/ potatoes and swiss chard (homemade).
  • Exercise: 60MIN OrangeTheory Class
  • Weigh In: 158.8LBs

Friday, January 11th:

  • Breakfast around 8:30AM: You guessed it- RX BAR!
  • Snack: about 1/2 cup of Bubba’s Fine Foods Grand Garlic Parm ‘Nana Chip (I believe the ‘Nana is a cute way to say Banana)
  • Lunch (planned): Chicken pita w/ tomatoes, feta cheese, onion, and (my fave)  tzatziki sauce and a squeeze of lemon (homemade). Round 2.
  • Dinner… I do not know. TBD. Its dinner with the girls, but we are all aware of each and every one of our own fitness and health goals.
  • Exercise: 60MIN Training session with the very talented, Jaime McFaden (you can follow her on instagram at @wheybj ).
  • Weigh in: 159LBs (I blame it on the cheesecake)

I can read your mind right now, “Self, this girl didn’t have ONE alcoholic drink in this week? She sits on a throne of lies!” You are wrong. I did not have a single adult beverage this week. After the holidays, like 90% of the world, I swore off alcohol for a bit, but unlike 75% of that 90% I have actually been able to hold true to it. No alcohol since Tuesday, January 1st, and its kind of fun so I want to see how long I can do this. Prediction: Until tomorrow when I got to try on wedding dresses and they hand me a glass of champagne. Does that even count?

The point I am trying to make is that I don’t sit at home drinking a bottle or two of wine, while eating Taco Bell and lounging with the adorable pups and my hot man. I actually eat pretty well, not perfect, drink a lot of water (nature’s beauty secret), and workout a ton (6 days of the 7, but who is counting?). So I am trying. Right now I am working this hard to keep status quo while I work through the witch potion my doctor has me on. Like I said before, the last time I saw her I had expressed concern that there had been no progress in my weight loss and was surprised when she responded that she didn’t expect me too yet. So I loosened the reigns on myself and cut myself some slack. I don’t want to take this time as an opportunity to lose the progress I have made, but I do want to take this time to not take life so seriously.

MIA BELLA LOTTA’S CALL TO ACTION: Take this next week to write down everything you do every day to make yourself feel better both inside and out. It does’t have to be a food log or a workout log like I did above. It can be just about what little changes you have made. Do you take the stairs instead of the elevator? Do you say hello to your mailman daily? Do you smile more? Do you floss more? What is the little change you can make or have made? Perhaps we should all try to adapt a new healthy habit a month? This month I have started with taking pressure off myself. What will you do?

WEIGH IN/MEASUREMENTS: 159 LBS, Chest 36.5 (there was a typo from my last measurement), Under Boob 30, Belly Button 31.75, Below Hips 38, Largest Part of Butt 41.5.

SONG OF THE WEEK: “Looking For a Place to Shine” by Clare Bowen

I jumped in, looking to make a wave,
I was working what the good Lord gave,
Baby, here I go, you’ll be praying for land
While I’m rocking the boat!
And I’m moving, come on and join in my parade,
I’ve been waiting for the rhythm to change,
Now the time has come,
So turn on the flames and turn up the sun!

Cheers to 2018

.Reading time 13 minutes.

In light of last weeks post about stress, I made the adult decision to take a couple weeks off from everything… so, sadly, this will be my last, official post for 2018 filled with witty commentary and clever puns.  I will make sure to have a “Monthly Check In” next week, but expect only one little chuckle, not the usual belly laugh you get week to week.

With this being my last, I wanted to look back on the fight thus far.  Even though its only been a couple months I do think that we have a come long way together. I also want to take a little time to talk about what my “Mia Bella Lotta Resolutions” are for 2019.  No, this won’t be my personal goals or resolutions as I want to take the next 2 weeks to really figure out what I want for me and this fight.  These “Mia Bella Lotta Resolutions” are for the “professional” portion of this fight.  Haha, I realized I just used the word “professional” for a space where I figuratively get naked in front of you all each week.

So join me on a journey to the past, as we take a look back…

MIA BELLA LOTTA WAS BORN!

I guess a good place to start while I look back at 2018 is that Mia Bella Lotta was created this year.  I made lemonade out of lemons.  I stood on that scale this past August and my stomach did back flips and sank to the ground.  I had hit rock bottom.  Besides cry, and cry a lot, I had the sensation that all I wanted to do was run up to the roof of my building and scream for the world to hear.  Seeing as the HOA strongly disagrees with my methods for stress relief, the next best thing was to write about it.  I had a thought “who else feels like this?”

I think we live in a world of extremes.  You see a great example every day in politics.  Its the two sides, the far right and the far left, that are constantly in the media, fighting to control politics, but you have those of us in the middle, the moderates, just running around in circles trying to be heard.  I feel the same is found in the weight loss and health community.   You have the fitness models and trainers who’s health is on point.  Then, on the other hand, you have those that strongly put themselves out there with a long journey ahead of them.  I want to be PC about this because I don’t want to look like I am making fun or bullying anyone.  I respect both sides because they are doing something to better themselves and not being lazy about their health and wellness.  There was a whole world of people that aren’t really represented here and its where I tried to fit in- the middle, the moderate health and weight loss seekers.  I have dubbed thee the “Everyday Girl” when it comes to health and weight loss.  I am not obese, but I am still not happy with where I am.  I am not lazy, but I am also not a crazy, health fanatic.  I am just your average, everyday girl that has some issues she needs to work out…. and I think I am massaging out the rough edges and will continue to build on this concept in 2019.

GOODBYE {SOME} WEIGHT AND INCHES.

Isn’t that what we are here for?  I can’t lose sight of the fact that, even with so much fight against me, I have been able to lose SOME weight.  As of my last Monthly Check-In I was surrounded by the number 5.  Thats 5LBs and 5 inches I’ve lost.  Thats about 10LBs and a handful of inches away from where I wanted to be, but its still something.  I can’t let that go.  I have to focus on the positive.  I have a couple factors working against me right now, as I discussed last week with stress being the most prevalent, but I have still been able to (literally) inch away less of me.  So… Yay!  Celebrations!  But don’t worry, I will stay grounded and won’t let my head get too big.

FIGURED OUT A ROOT ISSUE.

I always wondered why it was so hard for me to lose weight, no matter what I tried.  I would put my heart and soul into something, and, yes, sometimes I would get cocky and lose sight of the goal, but many times I also just felt like maybe my efforts weren’t good enough.  I knew that I had it in me to lose 10-20LBs because I had some success in the past, but why not now?  What changed?  Me, thats what.

This year I took the necessary steps forward to figure out what might be going on inside me.  Sometimes we have to look under the hood to see if all the engine parts are running smoothly.  What we found is that some of the inputs and outputs are out of wack which is causing stress on my body and that results in my body setting itself to “fight or flight” instead of normal.  Was it a relief to know that my efforts weren’t done in vain?  Absolutely.  Was there a clear and fast solution?  Nope.  This I will discuss in a later post about my 2019 Personal Resolutions.  Just know that I am trying to learn as much as possible about how someone in my situation functions AND how I PERSONALLY function and handle everyday stresses from work, wedding, social demands, etc.  I have the rest of my life to figure this out, with no deadlines needed, so I might as well learn everything I possibly can, right?

Now lets take a PROFESSIONAL Look Forward to 2019…

MIA BELLA LOTTA’S HOME

I will not just be taking these 2 weeks off to spend time with my family and friends for the holiday, but I also want to work on upgrading this entire thing.  I am a true novice when it comes to technology, websites, and such.  Ask my old business partner.  He says that when I am in a room with an electronic, the electronic breaks.  So I started off very beginner with the “look and feel” of Mia Bella Lotta.  My plan is, when Kevin and I go on our NYE adventure in a couple weeks, while he is skiing the slopes in Canada I am going to cozy  up in front of the fireplace with my laptop and get to work on Mia Bella Lotta 2.0, Mia Bella Lotta Alpha.  I have no idea what any of this means, but we will see what happens in 2019!

MIA BELLA LOTTA ON SOCIAL MEDIA

I made a goal for the end of 2018 to have 500 followers on Instagram.  That may not sound like a lot to you, but I haven’t been very active on it.  I need to step up Mia Bella Lotta’s social media game.  If I make Mia Bella Lotta a priority, then I am also making my health and wellness fight a priority.  See how that works out?  So I will post more.  I will let you all in more on my daily life and struggles in this fight.  Its not enough to just give you a weekly glimpse with the written word, but I want to visually show you the punches and falls I make and take.  Come on in.  Take a look around.  Open some personal drawers.  The water is warm(ish).

In conclusion of 2018…

This year I talked about my fight, and you joined me.  We talked about my feeling of solitude, and you lifted me up and joined my Girl Gang.  We talked about the importance of not playing the game of social media and let your friends in on your everyday life, and you did! We discussed travel and its pitfalls, and I made some baby steps to improve that!  We asked family to stop hiding our failures and let us know about them in a gentle way, and my Mom is STILL working on the gentle part. We discussed taking some responsibilities off our dance card and you should see my open January!  I have not thrown away that little black dress, but I did burn those fat sweats… so, baby steps.  I fell down and got back up.  I hugged my friends and did an inventory of who is supporting me.  But most importantly I felt love.  So thank you.

MIA BELLA LOTTA’S CALL TO ACTION:  Cheers my friends.  Cheers to you and all you’ve accomplished this year.  I, for one, am darn proud of you. So have fun with your family and friends, and make smart choices this holiday season.  Hug your family.  Tell your friends how much they mean to you.  Tell the person you love that you love them everyday… then sit back and cheers.

I’ll see you next year.

WEIGH IN/MEASUREMENTS: 157.8 LBS, Chest 31.75, Under Boob 30, Belly Button 32, Below Hips 38, Largest Part of Butt 41.5.

SONG OF THE WEEK: “Spell” by Marie Digby

A spotlight’s shining brightly
On my face
And I can’t see a thing
And yet I feel you, looking my way
An empty stage
With nothing but this girl
Who’s singing this simple melody
And wearing her heart on her sleeve
*Photo by Katie Mick Photography

My Apology

.Reading time 8 minutes.

I had an entire blog post set up and ready to go, but I had to scrap it.  I crinkled up that piece of paper and threw it into the trash of other scrapped rants.    Not going to lie, but I am a little frustrated at the moment, with hints of despair.  Right now I feel like I have not only let myself down, but let some of you down.  The feeling of letting a friend down is so much worse than just having myself to live up to.  This 2nd blogiversary did not end like I wanted it to end.  Last week things were looking on track. I was dusting off the ol’ gold star stickers from elementary school, but I might have put the cart before the horse and got too cocky.  Here I was all ready to post about fruit, vegetables, and eating in moderation, when just until recently I wasn’t doing anything in moderation.  I guess its true….Those that can’t, teach, or blog.

This is a new feeling- the feeling of letting others down.  I am trying to make myself an inspiration to others that feel the same way as I do, and I screwed it up.  I don’t like to disappoint, but what I lack in self control I make up for in backbone.  I will always be the first to admit when I did something wrong and apologize.  So, here it is- My Apology.

I am sorry.

Plain and simple.  Three short words that are packed with so much meaning. I also know you can’t just say “I am sorry” without knowing what you did that was wrong. In light of that…

I am sorry for getting cocky which resulted with me getting clumsy with my fight.  As I’ve said before, I am a planner who plans to plan.  So there was, and is, a plan to come out of this fight with a big “W” and all of the gold star stickers…

MY “KICK WEIGHT LOSS IN THE ASS” PLAN

  1. Upon wake up weigh yourself to help reflect the events of the previous day;
  2. Drink 16 oz of water before you put anything else in your body;
  3. Drink at least 100 oz of water in one day;
  4. Track anything and everything you put in your mouth for consumption;
  5. Carbs are your Brunch Buddies, but avoid carbs like your friend who gets sloppy drunk around sunset;
  6. Drink a glass of water when you find yourself hungry to make sure you really are in fact hungry;
  7. Workout. Like a lot. And hard.  Make it count; and
  8. Drink alcohol only one night/time/event a week, but stay away from wine (too much sugar- makes me bloat).

And done. Easy peasy.  As the time went on, I started to see a pound here and there each week shed off. Then, BAM. I got derailed from my perfectly put together plan.  Little by little instead of the pounds, my plan started to shed.  As of this last Monday I had gained 5 LBS from Friday, drank two days that weekend, didn’t track my food consumption from the weekend, ate carbs after lunch, and snacked without drinking my water.  So there it is.  My stumble.  I Paula Abdul’d this diet and took three steps forward and two step back.

Another thing that is very discouraging is knowing how hard I worked physically this month and knowing that this may be how hard I’ll have to work for the rest of my life to NOT gain weight. And listen to me carefully here. I am not saying that’s how hard I’ll have to work to LOSE weight, but rather how hard I’ll probably have to work to NOT GAIN weight. Makes me want to beat up the spokesperson for Walk Shop who always says “walk 10,000 steps a day for the rest of your life and never gain a pound.” Lies! You sit on a throne of lies!

Right now I am at an important crossroad in this beautiful fight.  I have two weekends away in a row starting today.  This is going to be a big test for me and my commitment to myself.  Do I drown further in this misery or do I pick myself up, dust myself off, grab my tracking book and 30 oz water bottle, and get this shit back on track?  I don’t consider myself one to really just give up so easily……So “Shit Back on Track” option it is.

I guess I shouldn’t be so hard on myself.  There are going to be setbacks.  I am not perfect.  You are not perfect.  We have to all recognize that.  If it was easy, this wouldn’t be a fight and everyone would have the body of Khloe Kardashian post Lamar Odom break up.  This isn’t for the weak, this is a fight for the strong.  I will be strong even when I get punched.  Will you?

I will end, as I always end my weekly posts, with a call to action, but this time this call to action is for me.  Self, you will not give up on this fight.  You are going to drink that 100 oz of water and get back into the ring and kick this weight loss’ butt.  Now.

And thank God I see the thyroid doctor on Monday.

WEIGH IN/MEASUREMENTS: 158.4 LBS, Chest 36.75, Under Boob 30, Belly Button 32.5, Below Hips 38.5, Largest Part of Butt 41.75.

SONG OF THE WEEK: “You’ll Be Okay” by Great Big World

You’ll be okay
You’ll be okay
The sun will rise
To better days
And change will come
It’s on it’s way
Just close your eyes
And let it rain
‘Cause you’re never alone
And I will always be there
You just carry on
You will understand
You’ll be okay
You’ll be okay
Just look inside
You know the way
Let it go
Fly away
And say goodbye
To yesterday

Little Black Dress

.Reading time 10 minutes.

That Little Black Dress.  Beautifully crafted with fabric that transformed into ribbon that had been strategically wrapped around me.  It hugs every curve like the dress was made for me and only me.  I wore it to Barrister’s Ball during my second year of law school.  I wore that dress with such confidence, and felt damn sexy in it.  And why would’t I?  Law school had such a negative effect on me in so many different ways except maybe one- I lost so much weight.  All that stress, heavy book lifting, multiple highlighter arm curls, getting my steps in as I paced the Law Library, and running up and down the stairs of my law school’s high rise building really paid off.  I had also stopped working out entirely for the first two years because there was absolutely no time for working out.  I figured if I had time to workout, then I had time to read and study instead.  Screw the low carb diet, try the law school diet.

We all have that one article of clothing.  It could be my Little Black Dress, skinny jeans, or a tube top (they are bound to come back into style one of these days).  It doesn’t matter what it is but we all have one- the “I Will One Day Fit Into It Again So It Will Hang In My Closet Until The Day I Die And They Have To Pry That Sucker Out Of My Cold Dead Fingers” article of clothing. Its the article of clothing that we leave in our closet hoping to one day fit into again. Its our benchmarker for when we will finally be satisfied with our weight and/or size.

On the other hand, some of us have the exact opposite article of clothing- our Fat Sweats.  You know the ones… the ones that you literally have to wash before you can even put them on because they’ve been rolled into a ball in the back of one of your drawers.  Its probably not even in your pjs/sweats’ drawer.  Its probably rolled into the back of your unmentionables’ drawer for safe keeping. My old-roommate, Shannon, and I had a very fond name for this “fat” outfit.  It was our “Football Uniform” because the accompanying shirt was usually the same heather gray as the sweats.  It was our secret (well I guess not so secret anymore, sorry Shan) that if we ever wore this outfit in front of a significant other then we felt that person was “our person” and could be trusted to look past the Football Uniform and at the beautiful butterfly inside it. My Fiancé (ahh love saying that), Kevin, calls this outfit my “Golden Gate Griffin Grays” and witnessed this piece of fashion forward art around date number two as I raced for the door to meet Comcast one morning.  I, once again, digress.

The point I am making is that we have these various articles of clothing in our possession and I don’t think either of them are doing any of us any favors as we journey on our fight for healthy weight loss.  On one hand you have the Little Black Dress.  I wore that dress almost TEN years ago.  I was in my mid 20s.  I don’t have any business trying to look like I did when I was in my mid 20s as I try and own my mid 30s.  We have all created this unrealistic expectation that we can travel back in time, defying gravity, and flip our no longer nimble bodies into the Little Black Dress, sashaying in public while heads whip so fast to check out the hot babe that necks literally break.  I’m sorry, but it ain’t gonna happen.

We need a new Little Black Dress or a new metaphor.  We need to stop trying to move backwards, and instead move forward to a new, healthy goal that works for your mid 30s arthritic toe’d body.  I workout more today than I ever have.  Before I left for my last trip I literally googled gyms in the area of my hotel in New York.  WHO IS THIS PERSON?  As I packed for our trip I ran my fingers across that Little Black Dress.  THE Little Black Dress, and thought “hmmm I wonder if I should bring it?”  WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I DO THAT TO MYSELF WHEN I HAVE COME THIS FAR!  So I passed on it and moved on to dresses I bought in this decade instead.  I moved to dresses I bought for 30’s Laura, and when I got home I made the decision that I am going to throw the dress out!  Okay, well not actually throw it out. That was more of a visual for you all.  I am not a monster.  Let me try that again.. and when I got home I requested that ThredUp send me another discard bag and I’ll wait for that bag for about 3-4 weeks and once I receive that bag I will lovingly fold that dress up and place it in the bag which will sit in the corner of my apartment until I have filled that bag and THEN I will put the UPS label on the bag and send it off for someone else to wear and feel like the dress was made for them.  And breath. Phew.

Now to the Football Uniform or the Golden Gate Griffin Grays- whatever you may call it in your house.  Yep, I see you cowering in the corner.  Get out here.  See the daylight for the first time in months.  You’ve got to go.  I know its unfair because we all want to have a “fat” night, but why do we want to have an article of clothing we can wear when we are fat?  If you can’t get on this journey for the sake of yourself then do it for your wallet.  Throw those fat sweats out and tell yourself “Self, you can’t gain weight because we can’t afford to buy new clothes. End of discussion.”

Now if you lose so much weight that new clothes are a necessity, well then its time to celebrate and please don’t forget to call me to go shopping with you!  Who am I kidding? I haven’t stepped into a brick and mortar clothing store in years….. Oh, and the Football Uniform does not go into the ThredUp bag.  They do not take articles of clothing with holes in them.  Those go into the trash.  Now.

Okay, its that time.  Its time for a call for action.  Walk your hot, curvy butt into your room and grab your Little Black Dress and  Football Uniform.  Little Black Dress, donate or sell yourself (Might I recommend ThredUp, Poshmark, or eBay?). Football Uniform, burn.

WEIGH IN/MEASUREMENTS: 158.4LBS, Chest 37, Under Boob 30.25, Belly Button 33, Below Hips 38.5, Largest Part of Butt 42.

SONG OF THE WEEK: “Going Out In Style” by Kellie Pickler

When my time comes to an end
Don’t be sad
Don’t you shed one tear
Take me back to the place
I love the most
All my best memories were made
In my time here
Don’t be sad or broken hearted
Spread my ashes in the shoe department
Everybody knows that’s where I want be
Jimmy choo choo, saks fifth avenue
For all eternity smells like heaven to me

The Chubby Traveler

.Reading time 13 minutes.

Excuses, excuses.  I’m like Oprah.. You get an excuse! You get an excuse!  EVERYBODY GETS AN EXCUUUSE!  Its like a line outside a ladies bathroom- Excuses line up and wait for the bathroom door to open so the next excuse can come on in once the last excuse is done.  They range from “but it’s Shannon’s birthday” or ” I haven’t seen Ashley in awhile” or “but Amanda is going through a rough time so I need to be here for her” or “I don’t want to be THAT girl” and so on and so on… but  my numero uno of excuses is, drum roll please, TRAVEL!

It doesn’t matter if I am traveling for 24 hours or 24 days, I always take that moment to throw all the hard work out the window and pretend to be an 80 pound girl who “can’t gain an ounce no matter how hard I try” (insert eye roll here).  Recently this happened to me, and its going to happen to me again in a few weeks when I am on to the next adventure if I don’t get my metaphorical shit together.

In the past, my thought has been “well I don’t know if I will ever come back to INSERT TOWN, CITY, COUNTRY, WHATEVER HERE so I need to make sure to immerse myself into as much of the culture as possible”- i.e. eat and drink everything I can, plus some.  That’s all good, until you and your boyfriend have created the #GyroADay Challenge while you are in Greece for 15 days.   Count it, that’s 15 GYROS, 1-5.  Sure, your boyfriend whose family is Scandinavian and Eastern European can indulge since he went on a run last month and that takes care of him gaining any weight for the year, but not for the girl whose family is Italian and gains a pound looking at someone else eat pasta.  This leads me to wonder “how do people that travel for a living continue to look great in every photo they post on Instagram or their travel blog?”  Look, I know photoshop can do wonders, but they are bloggers not Kim K.  That stuff is expensive.

So today, Friday, September 7th, 2018, I am exactly 20 days until we go on our next culinary, I mean- cultural adventure.  At the end of the month we head off to New York City, home to Eataly, I mean- home to the Statue of Liberty and the bright lights of Time Square.  “N-Y-Ceeeeee. Just here this morning. Three Bucks!  Two Bags!  One Dreammmmm….” (Annie the musical. No, not the movie, the MUSICAL) I digress.  So I did some digging to get some advice….

First, I started with some of my friends who I know travel a lot, whether it was for something creative like photography or writing their own travel blog.  Here are some tips that I got from my network of kick ass people:

Where in the Blonde? by Megan Gagnon “Europe today… where in the blonde tomorrow?” God, I love a good tag line.  I met Megan a few years back through some of my friends in law school.  She’s lived in San Francisco, Los Angeles, and most recently moved South of the Border.  This beautiful blonde walks every where and believes in lots of h20, “If there’s a church steeple to climb, I do it.  I think walking tours are key!  I also get a huge liter and half water bottle and make sure I drink two of them during the day to counter my drinking… I don’t like to monitor my diet while traveling so exercise is where its at.”

Make sure to check out her blog at: http://whereintheblonde.com and her instagram can be found at @whereinintheblonde

Sean MacCuish, Photographer / Designer:  I’ve known Sean for many years. He was my roommate back in LA about 10 years ago, and he is one of the most creative guys I know.  It doesn’t matter if its photography, designing clothing, or even painting and designing surfboards (yes, you read that right- surfboards).  Sean admits that its very easy to stay healthy when you are traveling for work because most hotels now have great gyms, but only when you take the time to use the gyms. Yet “eating out can be tricky on the road, especially in smaller cities.  You don’t have access to healthy take-out food as often.  It takes planning and prep.” Recently, Sean and his girlfriend bought a van, completely renovated it, and traveled across the country.  During their month and a half journey, they stopped at great locations taking some of the most beautiful photos I’ve ever seen (you definitely have to check out this instagram for the photos, info below).  While traveling in the van, “we had our share of unhealthy meals but whenever we had the chance we’d prep healthy snacks and meals for a few days out.” Their favorite healthy snacks are cacao energy bites and almond butter balls.  If he’s makin’ those I may need to get the recipes! I know he is a good cook!

You can find some of Sean’s great work at maccuishphoto.com/ and on his instagram @seanryanmac

Great advice: walk, lots of water, and prep some healthy snacks when you can.  So far I am liking that no one has said they stay away from the local cuisine.  So I decided to dig into this more, and looked for more advice…. to the GOOGLES!

The Road Les Traveled by Lesley Murphy:  Many of you may remember Lesley from the Bachelor and Winter Games, but everyone should follow her on instagram at @lesleyannemurphy.  She is inspirational and one of my favorite alums from the franchise (my #1 is reserved for someone very special to me. Oh, you know who you are…).  Lesley’s blog has some great health resources.  For example:  ways to use your hotel room as a gym, her favorite exercise videos (with photos of her even working out in her PJs, she is my type of girl),  keeping up her 4 days a week of exercise while away, and a guide to running on the beach (start on hard wet sand then move your way to the more dry sand).

Lesley’s website can be found at: https://theroadlestraveled.com

PsychoTraveller by Aly: Aly doesn’t just talk travel, but about a way of life.  She emphasizes living your life the way that you want it.  Aly is located in England and gives great advice on things to do and how to get there.

Aly’s website can be found at: http://www.psychotraveller.com

The Blonde Abroad by Kiersten:  I must have a thing for blonde travelers?  This California native gives you travel tips, packing guides and much, much more.  Her blog is the “go to blog” for solo-female travelers.  After taking a break from her corporate job, she made the decision to leave it all and travel.  She  even allows other women to collaborate on her website to give their own tips on travel.  Bad ass.

Kiki’s website can be found at: https://theblondeabroad.com

Alright, I know at this moment you are all on the edge of your seats, screaming!  The moment you’ve all been waiting for…. Based on the research I have done and the advice I have been given, below you will find…

“This Chubby Traveler’s Top 10 Travel Commandments”

  1. Eat local cuisine, but do it in moderation and be reasonable.
  2. Make sure to carve out time to work off those local delicacies.
  3. Once you indulge on a local delicacy make sure to stay near the lighter side of the menu for the rest of the day.
  4. Walk, walk, walk- this is a great way to see a new city.  Is there a great place to explore and hike?  Even better!
  5. If you don’t or can’t use the local city as your “gym”, make sure to workout first at your hotel before exploring. That way its over and done with and doesn’t get forgotten.  Remember, no more excuses. Tell them to take a hike!  (See what I did there?)
  6. Live by this- Bike over Car, but Walk over Bike.
  7. Again, if you use your hotel gym make sure to plan short, high intensity workouts so you don’t feel like you are missing out on your holiday.  A lot of great examples can be found online or “there’s an app for that!” Take a look at Aaptiv, Grokker, Apple, even ol’ trustworthy Youtube.  Thank God for technology.  Helps with the no excuses theme I’ve been throwing around a lot.
  8. Keep your “at home” workout routine/schedule, but with fun and new exercises.  Maybe check out a local gym or studio? If you are going to dive into local culture, don’t just stick to food and drink- why not learn a new workout craze!
  9. Pack some healthy snacks from home.
  10. And the Golden Rule… Remember and repeat to yourself #nodaysoff

Usually at the end of each blog I ask you to try something new, but here I am going to make another commitment to you.  When I go to the lake next weekend AND when I go to New York at the end of the month, I am going to live by  “This Chubby Traveler’s Top 10 Travel Commandments” and put them to practice.  Because like the Golden Rules says #nodaysoff.

WEIGH IN/MEASUREMENTS: 159.4LBS, Chest 37.25, Under Boob 30.5, Belly Button 33.25, Below Hips 38.75, Largest Part of Butt 42.  Considering my weekend away, this isn’t bad and there was muscle gain.  Wahoo.

SONG OF THE WEEK: “A Life That’s Good” by the Nashville Cast

Two arms around,
Heaven to ground me,
And a family to always call me home,
Four wheels to get there,
Enough love to share,
And a sweet, sweet, sweet song
At the end of the day,
Lord, I pray,
I have a life that’s good
Sometimes I’m hard on me,
When dreams don’t come easy,
I wanna look back and say,
I did all that I could.