Spoiler alert…. It may not be entirely your fault that you can’t lose weight. Say what? Okay, John Mayer never said that, but he did say that “your body is a wonderland” and gosh darn it he is right.  It is.

If you are having trouble losing weight it may not be entirely because you are doing it wrong, or your efforts aren’t the right efforts, or that low calorie diet isn’t the right diet. It’s crazy to think that a diet could be wrong, right? Isn’t that why its called a diet? Because you are on a special course of food to which you restrict yourself? We are living in a time where there are dozens, maybe even hundreds, of different diets- Low Carb, Keto, Atkins, WeightWatchers, Jenny Craig, Mediterranean, Paleo, Whole30, Nutrisystem, Wedding Diet (nothing like a diet based solely on financial stress, haha)… the list goes on and on. Yet there is a chance that if you are exercising, eating healthy, drinking water, and getting a good amount of sleep you would still be in for the disappointment of not effectively losing weight. That is just craziness.

Before I dive head first into this topic I would like to slide into your DMs for a moment and remind everyone that I am not a nutritionist since I believe that Taco Bell is an actual food group. I am also not a fitness expert, although I hang with one, but that is for another day and another time. Last, I am no doctor. Well actually that is technically a lie. I am a doctor, just not that kind of doctor. Lets just say if the law needed to lose weight in a healthy way, I am that doctor. Okay, went off on a tangent there, but I am telling you this because I don’t want you to take anything in today’s post as the Bible. For the first time I am actually going to try and do a little light “research” on this issue and wet your metaphorical palette with some knowledge grenades. Then maybe from my 30,000 foot view on the issue, it will motivate you to dig a little deeper and actually talk to someone who is a doctor and/or expert in this field.  Just make sure its a medical doctor, not a law doctor.

When I first started this this fight I had a tremendous outpouring of well wishes and support from friends and family. As I have said before I received a ton of texts, messages, and even a couple drunk phone calls from girlfriends expressing their love for me. Among these messages of support, I also received a couple asking if I had ever had by thyroid checked. This wasn’t really news to me as I’ve heard others talk about this issue before, but I truly thought that this issue was reserved for someone with far more weight to lose. The moment where it really sunk in that a thyroid issue can happen to anyone is when an old friend of mine, Felice, texted me to send me over some information. If I can paint you a quick mental portrait of Felice- she is dark haired beauty of a slender woman who, when I met her in Los Angeles years ago, was writing the witty and smart intros to those Netflix DVDs we used to all receive in the mail, but has now grown to be a full on writer.  The key word here is “slender” meaning that she didn’t need to lose a freakin’ ounce of weight, and she will wholeheartedly admit to that. Felice had other issues that were controlled by her thyroid- sleep. So I started to do some digging…

Oh, thyroid gland. The turtleneck to your throat. The inside winter scarf to our necks. This bugger can cause all sorts of issues. Through the hormones our thyroid produces it is the social influencer of a majority of our bodies metabolic processes. It is the Bachelor contestants of the Fab Fit Fun box, where for some of us what is in that box is just the right amount of hormones our body needs to function effectively and the way its suppose to. On the other hand some might have been dealt a Fab Fit Fun Box of the throat that contains a bunch of ineffective amounts and types of hormones causing the exact opposite effect, and to be on point with this blog, lack of weight loss. Okay, thats enough science today. I can already hear you all calling me a nerd and moving on.

The point is, maybe my current frustrations with my lack of weight loss isn’t entirely because of me and the efforts I am putting into it. It could be something that is currently completely out of my control, and, as many people know I hate the idea of being unable to control something. Thats why I don’t appreciate the ocean or flying. I am not in control of what happens once I am Snoopy Floating in the ocean or leavin’ on a jet plane- since I don’t know if I’ll actually be back again. Thus, after some discussion with Felice, I decided to reach out to my doctor about this possible thyroid issue. Frankly, I was about 6 months away from turning to modern medical procedures and have the lot of it sucked the f out. Okay, maybe I am being dramatic, but you get the point. I had literally hit rock bottom.  If there was an avenue for me to explore to help on this fight, you best believe I was going to run down it.

Here is something else I was warned about, many of your everyday doctors won’t look into thyroid issues. If your one thyroid test comes back normal, that is where the doctor will stop. Look, I don’t want to tell doctors how to do their jobs, but I can tell you if a client came in with a legal issue and I only looked at it from one angle I would be committing my own form of legal malpractice. But again, they have a couple more years of schooling on me. So my doctor told me, point blank, no to any further testing and instead set me up with an appointment with a nutritionist.  Girl, bye.  I’ve got one of those already. My doc figured that since my one test result looked fine, nothing more was needed.  Take that AM donut out of your diet, mission accomplished.  But she was ignoring the fact that my mom has a thyroid issue, which I can’t entirely blame since its not a hereditary thyroid issue.

Do not think that is where I stopped. I am one stubborn Italian.  I jumped on my computer and went, wait for it, out of my health insurance network and tried to find someone who would listen and would help on this fight with me. After an initial phone call with a doctor, I was informed that it very well could be my adrenal gland, my thyroid gland, any gland that is responsible for our hormones, that is causing this uphill fight. Also, yes, many doctors fail to take it the next step when their patient only has about 10-30 LBS to lose because they just consider it lack of trying or effort. I don’t know why there is this push back from many western doctors, but I am going to move forward and look into my thyroid even if it costs me a few Lincolns.

So Ladies and Gentlemen, here is my call to action for all of you.  I currently have a follow up appointment to get started with testing my variety of glands and what nots to see if this is possibly not entirely all about the efforts I am putting forward, but could also be something that I am not entirely in control of. Since I hate not being in control I am going to take the control back. If you are relating to this fight because you have your own weight loss issues and frustrations- Get on that computer and find a doctor or a nurse practitioner who will help you take that extra step. Jump on the Google machine and make some phone calls. I want us all to be in control of our weight loss fight.

WEIGH IN/MEASUREMENTS: 156.8LBS, Chest 36.75, Under Boob 30.25, Belly Button 32.75, Below Hips 38.5, Largest Part of Butt 41.75.

SONG OF THE WEEK: “Rock Your Body” by Justin Timberlake

Don’t be so quick to walk away (Dance with me)
I wanna rock your body, please stay (Dance with me)
You don’t have to admit you wanna play (Dance with me)
Just let me rock you till the break of day (Dance with me)