Its true.  I am a girl who just can’t say no when it comes to any activity that involves hanging out with her friends.  #Truth.

I am always planning.  I am a planner that makes plans to plan.  My boyfriend jokes that I even plan to not have plans, and evidently thats not the way it works.  I think the root cause of my friendship addiction is that my friends are all very important to me.  Are there meetings for people addicted to friends?  I am guessing putting together a group of people that are addicted to their friends would just cause more friendships and the cycle would never break!  They would have to be private sessions to talk about your addiction.  Which would just be therapy, and that shit is expensive.  START A BLOG!  CHEAPER.  Problem solved.  Clearly the ADHD is in full swing today…

I have been lucky enough to have many chapters written in my book of life, and throughout these chapters many friendships have developed. I have friends from my childhood, high school, college, law school, through my boyfriend’s group of friends, and now from the adult chapter of Laura. I am even still, to this day, best friends with my first friend ever.  No not my brother, did you not read my last post?  Katie.  We have matching tattoos. I was the maid of honor in her wedding.  I am the Godmother to her children.  She is the Dogmother to my dogs.  That is true friendship and dedication.

I try very hard to avoid being THAT PERSON who forgets about someone just because I grow older and meet new people, because each and every one of my friends has made a significant impact on who I have become. On the other hand, this makes it very tricky. How do you make sure each and every one of your friends feel that they are important and special?  They’ve made me feel special by always including me.  I have been a bridesmaid 13 times…. 13!  I have been to countless weddings that have taken all my leftover income.  I throw my money at here.  Here take it all! I have traveled to the ends of the globe to witness friends and family marry the love of their life.  At the end of the day, I feel very special and loved.

We all have different types of friends and the relationships that come along with them.  I have some friends I can go months without seeing and we pick up right where we stopped the last time.  My best friends from high school and I meet up every couple months now that we have moved to different parts of the Bay Area (and Los Angeles).  We can talk for hours.  No alcohol required.  As soon as we all sit in our circle with our snacks and/or baked goods (expertly baked to perfection by my girlfriend Kelly #shouldhavebeenabaker) the faucet of chatter and gossip turns on and its hard to turn off.  There’s no pressure past that.  We text constantly.  We check in on each other.  We are there for all the ups and downs no questions asked, but no nothing more is needed.  I love that about us.

Then on the other side I have some friends that rightfully want and need more. That is where the pressure and anxiety of “am I doing enough to cultivate this relationship???” starts to build.  Its been a balancing act to make sure that I am able to see as many of these friend as possible and as often as possible, while making each and every visit significant and meaningful.  I am literally spinning plates on small sticks making sure that each continues to turn at the same rate, but I feel like I am failing hardcore.

Cut to today.  Bottomline is I am in this fight to better myself and feel better about myself.  I am cultivating this friendship with myself.  This fight mixed with this balancing act do not mix well.  Although you’d think I would be burning plenty of calories and building quite a 6-pack  performing this act, it always comes with a side of cocktails, wine, champagne, fantastic restaurants, comedy shows, sports games… the list goes on and on.  I am 35 and I don’t have any kids, so I can constantly fill my dance card with the latest and greatest with my friends. Yet with this ever growing list of social events to go to, so goes the growth of my waist line.  It has to stop.   I work so hard Sunday night through Friday afternoon, that as soon as Friday night comes I throw it out the window.  I will repeat to myself- water, little booze, veggies and protein only- then someone orders the mini sliders and then its downhill from there.  I wake up in the AM and BAM, the 2 LBS I lost that week have vanished within hours.   Insert gut punch.

So here we go…

Dear Friend,

First, let me tell you that you look great.  Did you do something different with your hair?  Whatever you are doing it is WORKING.  Keep it up. Sorry your beauty distracted me for a moment.  Let me get to the point…

It is with a heavy heart I must tell you that I won’t be able to join you at * INSERT AWESOME EVENT THAT WILL JUSTIFIABLY GIVE ME MAJOR FOMO ALL WEEKEND HERE * this weekend.  Although I want to with all my heart, soul, and size 8-10 pants, I cannot.  Its time for me to become incredibly more selfish (just when you thought I couldn’t get more selfish, I turn around and shock ya, huh?). I need to spend some time with my very best friend- myself.  Please don’t take this the wrong way.  I do enjoy every minute we spend together, but I do not enjoy the post-hangout blues that are sure to follow.  Yes, I know you will say that we don’t have to drink adult-only cocktails or even eat unhealthy (or even eat at all, great diet, huh?), but I want you to know that I do not yet have the strength to do so.  Once I do find it, don’t worry you are number 1 on my list of people to see.

Wait, wait, wait.  Before you go.  This doesn’t mean we can’t talk or text.  I am here for you just as I hope you are here for me and support me while I figure this out.

X O X O – Struggling w/ the Spinning Plates Girl

P.S. I’m really digging myself into a hole here, because this is going to be the ONE post my boyfriend reads and will use against me for the next events I plan… but maybe thats a good thing?

WEIGH IN/MEASUREMENTS: 158.8LBS, Chest 37, Under Boob 30.25, Belly Button 33, Below Hips 38.5, Largest Part of Butt 42.

SONG OF THE WEEK: “Dear Prudence” by the Beatles